so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
