dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
