He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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