it was like his penis was on wheels.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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