That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
