Porn is love you can see.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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