yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i now understand why vodka
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
