Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
