Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
