Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
