In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
