i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting