she was so not down for the gang bang
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.