So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
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Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
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Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room