I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
