Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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