you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
