im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
