i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
