Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize