Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
