Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
