Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
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I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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