We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
