after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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