If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Randomize
