Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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