even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
