I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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