Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
