I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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