we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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