I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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