okay pat passed out under dana's car
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
