I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
