My Higher Power is John Stamos
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it's like iHOP with fire
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize