Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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