i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
