Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize