You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
