I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
