I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
