You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
