Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just gift wrapped bread.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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