she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well I just put wine in my tea
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
