Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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