I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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