Whod you bang
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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