I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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