This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
