Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I have demons in me.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
