I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
