Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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