Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
