dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
