You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You pole danced in your parka.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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