Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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