someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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