I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
