make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
