OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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