Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
