i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
