i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Fuck appropriateness.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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