rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
